Download In many countries, a woman’s family is expected to pay a dowry in exchange for their daughter’s hand in marriage.
That’s still the case in India, where money and gifts are presented ahead of the wedding ceremony. But sometimes the in-laws want more.
And some brides are beaten or even murdered by their husbands over the insufficient dowry.
Now and Indian dating agency is using social media to draw attention to dowry-related violence. They’ve launched an app called Angry Brides, where women take revenge on greedy men.
Reporter Jason Strother has the story from New Delhi.
Weddings in India are all-day events that end with parties like this.
The two families celebrate with music, dance and a lot of food as the bride and groom begin a family of their own.
But for many Indian women the party stops here.
Though officially illegal, the offering of a dowry is still widespread.
And according to government figures, each year tens of thousands of brides become victims of domestic violence because their husband’s family doesn't think the dowry is good enough.
That’s what happened to this 24-year old woman, who asked that I not use her name.
Prior to her arranged marriage, her family gave her in laws gold jewelry, kitchen appliances and furniture as part of the dowry.
But she says, her husband’s family demanded more after the wedding.
“My husband would beat me and cause so much trouble for me because of the dowry. When I went to his family’s house after getting married, they hit me too. They said they were angry that my family didn’t give them a motorcycle as part of the dowry.”
A dowry wasn’t always a bad thing, says Ranjana Kumari, who heads the advocacy group, the Center For Social Research in New Delhi.
Originally, it was a way for the bride’s family to ensure their daughter would lead a comfortable life and have things both she and her husband could share.
But now, she says, a dowry has become a prerequisite.
“There is a kind of banner in society, no dowry, no marriage. So they want to get their daughter married, so they are preasurized, their blessing turns into curse. Ultimately, it ends up in the hands of these in laws, who are greedy, who have a lust for money. Who would want to live a life of luxury without making effort for it.”
Kumari cites police statistics from 2010 that show close to 9000 women here were murdered by their in laws over the dowry.
She says dowry-related violence is still widespread in the countryside, where due to corruption and slow moving bureaucracy, a woman has very little recourse against abusive family members.
But an online dating service is giving women who are fed up with men demanding dowries a chance to hit back.
Its created a Facebook game called Angry Brides, a sort of parody of the hugely popular Angry Birds mobile app.
You take on the role of an eight -armed Hindu goddess and hurl shoes at a trio of gentlemen suitors.
Each time you strike one of the guys, the price of the dowry he demands goes down.
Even though its only a game, it has a powerful meaning, says Ram Bhamidi, senior vice president for online marketing at Shaadi dot com.
“Dowry is is a serious issues and people have not been talking about it until we released the game. They’re talking about the issues surrounding dowry, they’re talking about the deaths that result from dowry, and they’re talking about cruelty toward women and domestic violence in general.”
But women’s rights advocate Ranjana Kumari isn’t so sure Angry Brides will have the kind of impact the dating service says it will.
After all, few people in the poor countryside even have computers to play it on.
“I think this is commercial, it’s basically marketing their own site. Such advertisements such commercial activities, really don’t change society, it's the whole social process that changes society. However, it's a good message, that’s how we should look at it”
Kumari says, social change starts with young women getting a better education and learning how to stand up for themselves.
Chatting over cups of tea, Kumari listens to the stories of two women who both escaped abusive marriages. One is the young lady whose in laws demanded a motorcycle after her wedding.
She says life has gotten better. She’s learning to sew in order to support herself. But her family isn’t happy with that.
“My parents want me to get married. They say for how long will stay with us? But, I tell them, I don't want to get married again. “
Ranjana Kumari says this young woman is doing the right thing.
She’s making a sacrifice that’s needed to stop the violence connected to paying dowries.
“You see there is a consequence to it. If you refuse dowry and say I don't want to marry with a family who is demanding dowry, then you really have to know that if you will say no, you may never end up getting married.”
